The Number 1 crew in the area

I think i may have mentioned the international makeup of my friends at Jiao Tong University. Today at a friend's apartment, however, I realized that I was the only American among Filipinos, Dutch, and a crazy Singaporean. It was some realization for me because it also struck me that much of the time here I am the only one who speaks good English without accent.

I have American friends here, to be sure. But aside from Kev the machine my closest friends in Shanghai are from South Korea and Singapore. Randolph, the aforementioned crazy Singaporean, is a tightly wound bundle of energy. Though he's only one year my senior, he seems a lot older than me or even some of truly older friends. He fulfilled his military duty in Singapore, drums for a good rock band, has some of the best Mandarin of any of the international students, had a past laced with crystal meth, dates a former KTV queen, and teaches wu shu and muay thai on the side. For some reason he and I click, I dunno why.

Randolph has a very deliberate and forceful way of speaking. Many people who are friends with him now say he was an asshole when they first met him. Ask him a question and there is a good chance he'll sneer and say something like "What the fuck, you moroooon," in his slightly English (Singlish) accent. When he plugs in his ipod he wont' even notice you if you walk right by him. So when i let him borrow my high priced noise cancelling headphones I braced myself for a euphoric reaction. Randolph didn't disappoint.

"I'm gonna start head banging!!!"
"Fucking maaad."
*Insane laughter*
"My head is vibrating!"

He is extremely honest and upfront with everyone, including me. We talk about things like work, wasting time, training, martial arts, love and lust, books, music (He's teaching me about American rock n roll...aint' that a b?), and movies. I think out of K, him and me, Randolph is the only one truly serious when we talk about going to be Shaolin Monks. I'll miss him when he goes back at the end of the semester.

"Why you laughing? Is there something funny about my thrust or have i hit your f spot"

girls

I told TJ the other night that I was scared I would never grow up. I told him I felt like one of those flies with a lifespan of a day, knowing nothing but a frantic search for some semblance of love in a mate before a painless but cruelly early demise. We laughed about it, but I was only half-joking.

Since the end of 2 years of semi- 'love' I have felt like a lost soul. Now here I am in this huge city of lights and clubs, foreigners and sharks. A city without a soul. Shanghai.

Wolf in Sheeps Clothing.

Some people told me I have many girls. Should I count myself lucky? I don't think so, because someone who "has many" is obviously not satisfied with any of them. I look at the couples I have met, sharing this Shanghai experience, and I feel envious. I am still scared to DEATH of relationships, but I know I am only scared of that initial committment. Once you get to a know a person, American, Korean, Chinese, etc. and you find the things that make love possible and great and special...I don't have to look around. I can focus on what is important, and include that significant other in the joys that give life meaning.

Something like love could give a place like this a soul. But someone once told me you never find love when you look for it, it can only find you. I am nervous I will have dropped dead by then.



P.S.- i am writing this on my new laptop. sweet. zaijian