When my older friend said the words: "Your chinese has not improved very fast," it hit my gut and my bad liver like something really hard. I had been riding high that day after apartment searching with Glen and Hyun Seok. The real estate broker and our chinese friend Lester, who's a nutcase and will deserve a mention in my next piece about Chinese local friends, told me my Chinese was pretty good. Normally one must be dubious when receiving compliments from Chinese because they are par for the course. However, on this occassion I felt somewhat of an epiphany, what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity (wish I was Sam Jackson): I FELT my listening improvement as well as my speaking. So my elation was swiftly, and justly, cut down outside of Tao Li Yuan in the night. Mosquitoes bit at my calves and shoulders.
I wrote before about my ambition to stop clubbing and drinking and live healthier. Well I have taken that ambition into overdrive. Even an occassional drink makes me somewhat sick, and I plan on going to bed in about 20 odd minutes while simultaneously considering it not early enough keep in MIND that this is truly a city that doesn't sleep. My friends' going away bash at Guandi (maybe the only club I will truly miss going to...so many hot-forget it) went on until 6:30 in the morning. Speaking of going away bashes I have missed 3 of them including my very good friend Yoon's. In the past, I would have probably gone without thinking twice to all of them, or at least caved at the first "Come on man, so and so is leaving tomorrow." I have been studying and trying to ignore English speaking friends during the day. I don't listen to music anymore, only Chinese on the ipod.
The biggest step came that night though, when after my world was semi-shattered I picked up the pieces and put them together. A part of me, the part that was truly happy being comfortable, didn't like the crystal ball just created. I saw hardship, strangeness, and everything I knew I needed, the very reason i was here in China. I sent Glen a text message saying "I'm sorry, bro, I can't live with you next semester."
Now, we had that day just looked at a PIMP apartment that would have been nice in any country in the world. Glen is the most generous guy I've ever met, and a good friend. He texted me back saying I was his little brother, and to do what's best for me. For my Chinese I had decided I needed to largely cease speaking English. My mom was right, I had to think in Chinese. My friend Min, the older wiser guy who had told me I needed to do more to learn Chinese if indeed it was my goal, offered to let me live with him and his classmate. I've been waiting until tonight for him to arrange matters.
But then i took it a step further. Provided the place I check out tomorrow isn't shit, next semester I will live with three Chinese girls, one of whom is a language exchange partner. Now, this is pretty crazy compared to the other changes I have been trying to make good habits. My Chinese is guaranteed to sky rocket. K. Cho told me there are two ways to learn Chinese: 1. Chinese roomates, 2. Chinese girlfriend. Now it's like the best of both worlds right? 3 Chinese roomate/girlfriends? 开玩笑！ The rent will be LESSTHANHALF of what my perfect parents pay right now. Of course, the conditions will probably not be anything close to what I was planning on with Glen and them. Also, I had been thinking of living with Doug as well, whom I've just begun to rekindle old delight with. That sounds deliciously decadent. And gay. And living with 3 girls isn't the fairy tale adolescent boys dream about...I mean I'm pretty sure.
I won't even be able to bring girls home or have a girlfriend stay over.
Maybe the next step is celibacy; I say bring it on.
Zaijian
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