Listening to Wang Lee Hong and not phased at all. Whatup tho? This doesn't make a lot of sense to me if I REALLY think about it.

This semester in Shanghai taught me a few important things. Namely, that I am lazy and somewhat of a selfish prick. Well, I guess there are positives to be had as well.

At 23 years of age I think I can come to terms with the fact that I was at best mildly socially retarded until somewhere near the end of college, despite ups that made me normal and downs that made me really really socially retarded. Here in Shanghai I have had a lot of fun, grown a lot, and been able to experience the same exact problems of life and love and friendship that I thought I had learned from in the past and vowed to never let happen again.
I can't believe Doug is leaving, that crazy gege...we didn't Shanghai it to the fullest mostly because he's a bum.

I have to do the shout out thing, apologies to myself and my infatuation with maturity. The shout is still something I feel a part of me. I will look at this note, or not, and be embarrassed. I don't care. I'm still young, good looking, and shake when I laugh. Spence, Chloe, Los, Wanda... I wish I could still come back to the U.S., but I need to concentrate on my studies, character, health, and recovery from clubs and baijiu and STDs. So let the shout outs roll nei geeeeeeeeeee

Yoon- My good boy, he's no Uncle Tom contrary to some others' opinions. A really humble, fun guy with the best laugh in the business. Seriously his laugh will lift your mood. You know that guy, the guy you WANT to see when you're in a shitty mood. Not only that, but he's got wisdom and his humility can make one forgot he's got more going on upstairs than most of us, and the credentials to prove it. Loved balling with you, quick shot Jamison. How about this for a concrete goal, cuz I know I will visit you in SK: get Carter. Drunk, assault him, get him laid, I don't know. Something. Get Carter. I know you are loving this if you are reading it and if not than SK has already changed you and in that case I don't like you. Sorry I didn't party with you before left, but I agree with you totally that drawn out goodbyes are bad luck for meeting again. See you later.

Alex Ho- dude I don't want to associate you with killing Russians because you are more than that. A real funny guy, agressively funny, and probably the #1 ninja at getting cats to go out even when they want to stay in. I mean, you practically were gonna urinate Team Jackson. You are sensitive and thoughtful as well, and you have heart. You hurled and came back to the spartans same day, and you killed that Russian. Gonna try and check you in NYC though you are not living large yet, probably just stressed out. Hit me up on AIM and MSN you bitch.

Sue and Cho combo #3- You girls are so cute. Sue do you know about your 3 forms? Cho makes me feel warm inside with her "Nyahahhaa," and "Muhuhuhu".

Shit man, I'm feeling 难过 all of a sudden. Time to start packing up my room. Zaijian

Humid winds of change

When my older friend said the words: "Your chinese has not improved very fast," it hit my gut and my bad liver like something really hard. I had been riding high that day after apartment searching with Glen and Hyun Seok. The real estate broker and our chinese friend Lester, who's a nutcase and will deserve a mention in my next piece about Chinese local friends, told me my Chinese was pretty good. Normally one must be dubious when receiving compliments from Chinese because they are par for the course. However, on this occassion I felt somewhat of an epiphany, what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity (wish I was Sam Jackson): I FELT my listening improvement as well as my speaking. So my elation was swiftly, and justly, cut down outside of Tao Li Yuan in the night. Mosquitoes bit at my calves and shoulders.

I wrote before about my ambition to stop clubbing and drinking and live healthier. Well I have taken that ambition into overdrive. Even an occassional drink makes me somewhat sick, and I plan on going to bed in about 20 odd minutes while simultaneously considering it not early enough keep in MIND that this is truly a city that doesn't sleep. My friends' going away bash at Guandi (maybe the only club I will truly miss going to...so many hot-forget it) went on until 6:30 in the morning. Speaking of going away bashes I have missed 3 of them including my very good friend Yoon's. In the past, I would have probably gone without thinking twice to all of them, or at least caved at the first "Come on man, so and so is leaving tomorrow." I have been studying and trying to ignore English speaking friends during the day. I don't listen to music anymore, only Chinese on the ipod.

The biggest step came that night though, when after my world was semi-shattered I picked up the pieces and put them together. A part of me, the part that was truly happy being comfortable, didn't like the crystal ball just created. I saw hardship, strangeness, and everything I knew I needed, the very reason i was here in China. I sent Glen a text message saying "I'm sorry, bro, I can't live with you next semester."

Now, we had that day just looked at a PIMP apartment that would have been nice in any country in the world. Glen is the most generous guy I've ever met, and a good friend. He texted me back saying I was his little brother, and to do what's best for me. For my Chinese I had decided I needed to largely cease speaking English. My mom was right, I had to think in Chinese. My friend Min, the older wiser guy who had told me I needed to do more to learn Chinese if indeed it was my goal, offered to let me live with him and his classmate. I've been waiting until tonight for him to arrange matters.

But then i took it a step further. Provided the place I check out tomorrow isn't shit, next semester I will live with three Chinese girls, one of whom is a language exchange partner. Now, this is pretty crazy compared to the other changes I have been trying to make good habits. My Chinese is guaranteed to sky rocket. K. Cho told me there are two ways to learn Chinese: 1. Chinese roomates, 2. Chinese girlfriend. Now it's like the best of both worlds right? 3 Chinese roomate/girlfriends? 开玩笑！ The rent will be LESSTHANHALF of what my perfect parents pay right now. Of course, the conditions will probably not be anything close to what I was planning on with Glen and them. Also, I had been thinking of living with Doug as well, whom I've just begun to rekindle old delight with. That sounds deliciously decadent. And gay. And living with 3 girls isn't the fairy tale adolescent boys dream about...I mean I'm pretty sure.

I won't even be able to bring girls home or have a girlfriend stay over.


Maybe the next step is celibacy; I say bring it on.

Zaijian